Skilfully describing the chaotic and disturbing position in Washington, D. C.— the wrecking ball allies of Donald Trump are improperly taking to the U. S. government — is difficult. But Stephen Colbert had a brilliant comparison on Tuesday’s” The Late Show”, likening the condition, which is of course being spearheaded by Elon Musk, to Musk’s personal faulty goods.
Colbert initially described Musk as” a very sad, very lonely little boy who had all the money in the world yet could not buy a single drop of cool,” noting that he has been illegally handed over dozens of crucial state data and services after being unlawfully given access to them.
Elon, however, was able to get his way into our state, and he’s already starting to blow up like a Tesla in self-driving mode in the last few weeks,” Colbert continued.
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” In just the past couple of weeks, Musk and his henchmen have commandeered, among other things, the Office of Personnel Management, the federal government’s human resources department”, Colbert explained. “You’re the richest man on earth. Do you want to get over HR? Why didn’t you get a fun businessman like Richard Branson”?
At this, Colbert brought up a picture of Branson. ” Here he is kite surfing, wearing a naked girl on his back like a Jansport handbag. Or the Dyson gentleman. He invented a vacuum and grows delectable fruits. Today, Elon, you could be the next Dyson. You never quit sucking”, Colbert joked.
Colbert continued to criticize the Tesla owner, noting that Musk “brought along a crack team of new children, a group of engineers between the ages of 19 and 24,” who are effectively destroying the US government. As long as their goal does not involve renting a car and having unrestricted access to the government servers, they should be “unstoppable.”
Colbert mocked Musk’s plan to use AI to make spending cut determinations, joking,” ah yes, famously accurate AI, the cutting edge technology that told Google users to eat at least one small rock per day. I know, I know on the surface, I know that sounds stupid, but a rock is the only way to get rid of the scissors AI instructed you to use first. So, so delicious”.
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Then Colbert made a joke about long-running rumors and the bombshell Wall Street Journal report that claimed Musk used several hard drugs, including Ketamine. ( Musk is strictly by prescription. )
How is Musk even permitted to do any of this, Musk asks? Colbert asked, noting that Musk’s” Department of Government Efficiency” isn’t actually part of the government. ” He’s not an elected official. He’s just some guy who gave Trump$ 288 million. Well, to smear a thin coat of legitimacy on Musk’s rampage, the White House gave him the title of special government employee. Yeah, special government employee. It’s superficial and super important. It even comes with a plastic badge from Hasbro and a kit that reads “my first vile of ketamine.”
” If all of this, if all of this, feels weird and unconstitutional”, Colbert added, “yeah”.
There’s more of course. Watch the entire monologue right below.
article Stephen Colbert claims Elon Musk is “blazing up the government” in the video “like a Tesla in self-driving mode.”